Sunday, October 10, 2010

Being Okay with God: Part III

If you haven't, please read "Being Okay with God: Part I" and "Being Okay with God: Part II" before you read this, as they build on each other. Thank you!


Miracles DO happen.

They really do. And as I said, God had one more miracle to share with me...

I can't believe this (actually I can...), but just as I was reflecting on my crisis of faith during my mother’s battle with ovarian cancer and writing about it to all you lovely readers at The Universal Soul, God did something really BIG in my life this very week. I mean this timing can’t be a mere coincidence. It can’t be “ironic” or a fluke. It’s got to be God. And I think you’ll agree…

To find out how this story ends, you’ll have to read this letter I wrote to my mother explaining what happened because I don’t know how else to explain it to you...


“The Girl and the Pink Pen”
A letter to my mother on 10/8/2010


I know this is random, but I have to share this with you. Today a student in my class was presenting a project about her personal culture, and part of that was her family. She stood up and showed everyone a pink pen and then started to cry. And then she couldn’t go on…

Everyone waited for a few moments in utter silence. We didn’t know why she was crying, but people started to tear up anyway. Then she continued. She said the pink pen represented breast cancer. She said that someone she loves is fighting a battle against breast cancer right now. And then she broke down in tears. She couldn’t bring herself to tell the rest. I asked her if she wanted to present her project with me later, and she thanked me and said she would.

She sat back down at her desk, and I brought her the tissues. After that, something beautiful happened. The class began to raise their hands. One by one, they looked this young girl in her eyes and told her they’d been there. They said she was brave. They told her they lost the one they loved, and they know how she feels. Then some students shared stories about survivors, and they promised her that her loved one could be a survivor too. That exchange gave me hope. Watching these young people step up and use their voices made me feel like I was privy to the most beautiful experience we human beings can have.

After the students were done supporting and sharing with one another, I shared your story. I told the young girl with the pink pen that you had ovarian cancer. I told her that as soon as I heard the news I thought about death and that I couldn't lose my mother. She cried and nodded her head. But then I got to tell her that you survived. I got to tell her to hold onto those survival stories as hope that her loved one would survive too. She smiled and thanked me. And then the entire class told her to hang on. There wasn’t a dry eye.

This moment will be—forever—one of my most treasured teaching memories. And I had to tell you for two reasons: 1) because you’re the best teacher I know, and I strive to emulate your heart and 2) because your survival story happened so you could go on and bless others.

I now fully understand why God allowed this to happen to you. Your struggle and pain and scars had to happen so others could be blessed and be guided by your story.

It’s amazing how things come full circle. God does have a master plan. It won’t always be easy. It can hurt a lot, but if we are steadfast, God will reveal the end result. I am a better person and a far more compassionate person because of this struggle our family has gone through.

I think this story illuminates the idea that we are all connected to one another. We aren't strangers, but rather God's children. Who could have ever known that what happened to our family two years ago would reach out and touch this young lady?

Anyway, I love you so much. I will be seeing you soon.



So do you believe me? It’s a bit of a miracle, isn’t it? I started writing about this chapter in my life just days before this happened. How was I to know? There wasn't suppose to be a Part III to this series, but now there is.

I feel blessed to be able to share this with you. And I can tell you wholeheartedly that this is why I am okay with God. I hope you are too. And please share your stories...


  1. How wonderful that God provided such a touching memory. It was like a pebble tossed into a pond, the ripples went on and on.

    When I heard I had uterine cancer, 21 years ago, my first thought was not of death. It hardly entered my mind. Today I wonder if it was personal faith that caused me to just want to get whatever was to come done so I could get on with my life.

    I believe we survivors survived to give others hope in the power of positive thinking.

  2. Barbara, it's funny you said that it was a pebble. For the past two days that's what I was thinking of, and I even started writing a poem in my head about "being the pebble." If it's good, maybe I'll post it sometime. :)

    Congrats to your survival story! That's amazing. I am sure it's changed the way you view the world. God bless!


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